


this heart on my sleeve (it's my turn to be brave)

by bellamythology (onemanbellarmy)



Series: i've heard every album, listened to the radio [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bittersweet, Coming of Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 10:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8053192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onemanbellarmy/pseuds/bellamythology
Summary: Bellamy starts college tomorrow, which means he and Octavia will each have to learn how to stand on their own.Inspired by Idina Menzel's "Brave."





	this heart on my sleeve (it's my turn to be brave)

For as long as Octavia could remember, her brother had always known exactly where he was and where he wanted to be. And for as long as she could remember, wherever she was had been the answer to at least one of those questions.

Today, though, Bellamy was flying out to California — to UC Berkeley, in fact, for what would hopefully be four years in their undergraduate Classics program. She knew that he’d gotten an incredible financial aid package, and that he needed to see if he could do it, make it on his own.

She was happy for him, of course, but she’d be on her own, too. And she wasn’t quite sure how much of her would be left once _half of the Blake siblings_ stopped being the first thing you noticed.

The pre-dawn air nipped at the few inches of bare skin she had neglected to cover before slipping outside to climb the tree in their front yard. Years ago, he had been the one to teach her how to get a literally changed vantage point as a method of approaching problems; the strategy had never her down. Just like her brother.

In contrast to Bellamy’s thoughtful self-awareness, Octavia was never so consciously deliberate about which direction she was running. It took years before she realized she was as predictable as he was: for her, all paths led to Bellamy. Sure, she’d never hesitated to take the leap — whether figurative or literal — but some part of her had always known her brother would catch her.

Until now.

Octavia exhaled, watching her breath mist in the space before her. There had never really been a question, had there? Bellamy had battled both their demons for so long, and this moment was always going to come.

It was her turn to be brave.

 

“Bell?” _I’m scared._

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you, Octavia. I promise.” Even as he had hugged her close, twelve-year-old Bellamy could feel his sister trembling, her heart pounding as fast as his.

At the same time, the stiffening of her spine revealed her determination to stay herself, his bright butterfly child on a dark day. He had plenty of those, but lately she was less and less willing to let him hide away to lick his wounds. Despite his efforts to keep her from the worst of it, she always seemed to be around when he needed to feel less alone.

Lying awake in bed, eighteen-year-old Bellamy managed to admit, just to himself, that he was terrified. Excited for his future, of course, but terrified to leave behind everything he knew. And he wasn’t just selflessly worried for those he loved, he was anxious for himself, too.

Some called going off to college _a rite of passage_ , and it was starting to make sense. Heading off into the unknown, all on your own? It was scary.

Outsiders might easily assume that Bellamy was the sibling who stood between the other and the world — the boy, the big brother, the more physically intimidating one — but that wasn’t how it was, with them. They stood side by side, always had since Octavia had punched Dax for tripping Bellamy on the four-square court. Always the Blakes against the world.

The adventurous one had always been Octavia — whether she was hanging upside down from the monkey bars or climbing to the very top of their tree, his sister had always awed him with her fearlessness.

But that wouldn’t do when he was a million miles away from her.

It was his turn to be brave.

 

As they stood in the airport with their arms around each other, both Blakes may or may not have a few tears pricking their eyes as they tried to breathe steadily through the pain. It hurt, but they both knew this was just a graze; it would not join the other scars on their hearts.

“Try not to get yourself killed, okay?”

“Right back atcha.”

Neither looked back after they parted ways.

 

It took just five minutes for Octavia to pull on shorts and sports bra and pull her hair into a messy ponytail. Armed with water bottle and headphones, she was ready to conquer the path ahead of her.

 

Settling into his seat, Bellamy turned off his phone and shook his head, once, decisively. It would be a while before takeoff, so he pulled out notebook, pen, and the tray table. He turned to a fresh page.

**Author's Note:**

> why yes, i am bitter about how dirty canon has done the blake siblings.
> 
> come talk to [me](http://bellamythology.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


End file.
